Just plain FAT

I just want to cry. The bariatrics dr called, and they won't see me bc I'm not fat enough, or not on meds for high Bp or high cholesterol. Really? I really want the surgery. So, my options for losing weight are A: eat myself to get fat enough for the surgery, or B: starve myself. I bought some HCG drops and I'm gonna try this now. I'm determined to lose this 80 pounds. I am sick of being fat and unattractive. I am tired of feeling this way, tired of having a spare tire for a stomach, seeing fat when I look in the mirror, wearing sweats all the time bc my jeans barely fit, seeing a double chin when I look in the mirror, having chicken wings for arms, I'm sick of it. I'm just plain fat!!! Before I had kids I could lose weight without trying. I don't regret my kids at all, I just wish I could lose this weight. I hate it, I hate how I look, I hate everything about me.